Yeah that sums me up
| You are a Social Conservative (36% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (25% permissive) You are best described as a: Totalitarian
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For Better or For Worse
Heh. Last night was the worst I think. At least for Art.
So in a feeble attempt to try and get this baby out “naturally” I went and did it. I took castor oil. Based on what we heard about not ever wanting to drink whatever you mix it with again, we decided it would be a good idea for me to take it with V8 juice. I’m not a fan. I can stand it most days but in the end if I never wanted it again I wouldn’t be sad. Hahahahahahaha!!
I got about halfway through the can in 15 mins. I felt okay. Oily. But okay. Then Art decided to chug some with me since we are in this together. And chug I did because why not. I needed to just finish the damn thing.
So yeah fast forward 10 mins later when I flowed like a freaking volcano all over one side of the kitchen. Poor Art. It was truly The Exorcist but red instead of green. I somehow managed to not even get myself and honestly felt fine right after. So I got some water and Art shooed me out of the kitchen to clean and I sat down.
30 mins later I tried it again. This time with some Sunny-D. I swear it was just the V8 that did me in. The Sunny -D was fine. Nice and cold and a lot less and I slammed it and felt fine. I got some water and sat down. I chilled for about 30 mins. Then I started to feel off. Okay this stuff was working. Then I had a funny taste and got something to make it go away. Took a bite of bread and knew something was wrong. I retreated to the bedroom as Art got the last of things done for Ireland and my sis who is staying the weekend. All of a sudden I felt like I had to burp and fart at the same time and I ran to the bathroom, but not before the show began. I could not keep it down and tried to block it with my arms. I was drenched! I could barely say Art’s name to warn him about the carnage in the room. Well that one did me in and I took a VERY LONG hot shower, I was finally able to get back to he room and just lay there. Art cleaned everything up like a champ. I love him so much. I swear at times I do underestimate him. But last night he proved his worth. He was truly my rock.
Finally after a few hours I was feeling better enough to eat a little something and we got some rest. I will say after all the fun I had irregular contractions off and on for a few hours, one of which Art got to feel really well. It was neat. Too bad they went away. Oh well.
So some maybe asking why in the hell we took those measures. Well we’re trying to do a VBAC. And we’re sortof in a race for time with my OB. I am completely healthy. No high blood pressure. No protein. No cray weight gain. Baby is healthy. At the last ultrasound she had over 80% of amiontic fluid surrounding her. Great for then. We’re both okay. But my OB doesn’t like to go past 41 weeks and because of that we’re scheduled to go into the hopsital 5am Monday morning to have my membranes ruptured as a last ditch effort to try and get this baby to come naturally instead of a c-section. I recently came across an article of things I should have asked my OB about in the beginning and didn’t. Silly me. But hey you can’t ask what you don’t know. There is a TON of research on VBACS and while I have gone over enough to know it’s doable I am still blown almost daily about just how much more info there is out there.
This is the article I came across the other day: “Is your doctor REALLY supportive of VBACs?”
My actual Dr not so much, since the beginning he’s mentioned a c-section countless times. But he has a midwife in his practice that is for them and is lovely, she’s just bound by the Dr and it shows at times. We felt that in an effort to get a nice mix of Dr ands midwives we got a good pick of our practice. Since the beginning I wanted a homebirth but since this is Art’s first time he wanted a more control situation.
Well knowledge is power and Art has learned a lot these past few months. I have not nagged or asked about a homebirth and I have defended his decision to want to birth at the hopsital numerous times. But now that we are in the thick of things and Art knows more he’s seeing that maybe that’s not the thing for us. Hence the castor oil, and the evening primrose oil I’ve been popping orally and vaginally like there is no tomorrow (last night’s record was 10 capsules up in there!! *wink,wink*). I have been drinking Rasberry tea for the past months and we’ve been humping like rabbits. I walk no less then an hour a day, and I don’t mean meandering, I mean walking. Like seriously a few strides short of power-walking.
So yeah things are crazy. I feel really good for 41 weeks today. So i can’t complain. I’m just not happy with most of my offerings right now. And so in saying all that. Don’t be surprised if you hear about some funny news from this household. In the end I’m the consumer and the Dr works for me and well we just might have to speak up. We’ll keep everyone updated of course!
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (1)Unplugged
Oh yeah baby! So this morning I got a treat. My plug came out!
I’ve been losing really small pieces here and there for weeks, but this morning was the load I’ve been waiting for! It looked so good, I swear I *almost* took a picture of it. LMBO!
I’m just so darn giddy since yesterday I got stripped and I swear it felt like nothing had happened. Some contractions and then they puttered off. Blah.
So yay for today! Which I’m also seeing another midwife that can spend more time with me to get my membranes stripped again and here’s hoping that by Sunday, Ireland is a big sister! YAY!
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Update on the Bebé
Bebé does not want to come out and play.
Today I had my 40 week checkup and it was okay.
See I am just ready for the baby not because I want to see her, though that would be nice. But because I don’t want her to be cut out. We didn’t opt for a homebith this time as this is Art’s first time and he was a bit anxious. I use the word anxious in a nice way too. Now he could go for it. But now we would have to deal with insurance and whatnot. And honestly I am tired. I’ve ahd to go up against a lot of people since being pregnant. At my work. With my ex. The normal life isn’t fair crap. Throw in trying to work 40 hour weeks and a lot of sickness. Also school and yeah I’m tired.
So that’s why I seem a bit anxious about having this baby soon. So I don’t have to tell anyone no about having a c-section. Because honestly I feel a baby will come when ready and she’s not ready. So I’m trying to make her think she is. Because baby. Sure would be nice. Not sure why I am so willing about letting that watermelon come out of my lemon hole though…
Anyways got my membranes stripped and while it wasn’t exactly fun, it wasn’t as bad and the midwife got interrupted. So tomorrow I’m getting it done again. Fun huh? Yeah I know. I’ve also been doing the other things that everyone says. Minus the castor oil. Really trying to stay away from that. Do have the bottle. Might just take it if I make it past Sat afternoon. We’ll see.
In the meantime we’re just waiting.
Got the car seat installed today. Took 3 people. Apparently my car has issues. I’m not even surprised. But it’s in and we’re set. One more thing marked off the list. I’m happy.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Releasing
It’s been awhile since I’ve said anything really about Ireland and her father on here. Since I know he can read this site and that his parents DO read this site I’ve tried to be good in choosing my words. Because you know what they say, “If you can’t say anything nice….”.
Well a yesterday a friend blogged about being an only parent in the sense that the other one doesn’t care about the kids and it just got to me. I commented twice on her blog AND texted. Whew I had a lot to say about it. And that barely skims the surface. So I decided it just might be better for me to blog here about it.
I am so over my Ex. Especially in the case of him being my child’s father. It’s been almost 3 months since he paid any child support. I can look over the case and immedialy see the last 6 payments. But for him I only see 5 because he’s only done 5 of them in the last year so far. Oh let me not forget there was one huge payment from when he dieced to finally do his taxes, something he hasn’t done in YEARS, but that went to the debt he owed the state from when I had to get assistance from them in the beginning.
Ahh yeah memories from my time on “welfare”. I was one of those people who actually used it like it was supposed to be used. But still I’ll never forget how I was treated, breaking down in this lady’s office after learning I might not get anything one month. I’ll never forget those times. And all because of him.
Years later it’s still the same. Thankfully I worked my ass off and have come a long way from those times but I still feel so unprepared.
One of the reasons I haven’t said much is that Ireland’s grandparents play a big role regarding her seeing her father and while I’m not happy about it, I want to be fair and it’s better to just trudge along and stay silent.
Or is it?
Because lately the effects of not speaking up seem to be getting to me and I feel as if I’ll blow at any moment. I don’t even want to see them anymore. And it sure as hell doesn’t help that Ireland seems to be following the same path. I know for me it’s because it’s really disheartening to see them support their son but not fully support him. I mean if you are going to stand behind him when it comes time to get visitation right, then why not stand behind him and make him pay his child support? But that doesn’t happen.
He owes over 14,000 to Ireland. They didn’t come to that court case when we went last Dec. Of course not. It’s only important that he see her. Not sure why as last time I checked parenting involved way more then just seeing a child in the flesh.
And to top it off, she doesn’t want to see him. But I’ve tried to keep her neutral on the situation to allow her the chance to make this decision on her own. I know why I don’t want her to see him. Over the past 6 years he’s claimed she’s not his, he doesn’t love her, he’s not cared for her, he’s not done any good by her, he has not honored her in any way. And then to top it off he choose to care for another kid that is not his before her. And this is a battle because he says if he can care for that one why not Ireland? I don’t know why not? But somehow you don’t buddy. Playing with her doesn’t mean you’re a good parent. She plays at school.
Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I am so over my Ex. I am tired of giving him chance after chance. All at the expense of Ireland. People say it is better that he is in her life but I have a VERY hard time believeing that. Because if they didn’t share DNA then I know people would wonder why I was letting my kid go and spend weekends with that man? Would you let your child hang with someone who can’t keep a job due to their temperment? Someone with substance abuse problems? Anger issues? Someone who almost yearly spends some time in jail? I am guessing no. But throw in some shared cells and BAM he must spend time with her, it’s a benefit. Because that’s what I hear.
I may think “outside-the-box” on a lot of things but I know this isn’t one of them. Ireland’s time with her father is not good for her. Not because I don’t like him. But because he’s not a good person. He’s not a good father to her.
And it blows. Big time. Makes my heart ache. It’s the injury in my soul that keeps me grounded and reminds me time and time again how human I am.
But at the same time, I have been blessed to have come into contact with Art. Because he provides what Jer could/can not? And for that I am thankful. And at times you can see Ireland is just as thankful as me.
Anyways I am always for both parents being in a child’s life. I wish the world could be one big happy place. I am the girl that sees the glass is half-full. Overly optimstic. But when the other parent can’t do for themselves, well they can’t do for others and then it’s not all fun and games anymore. It’s just sad and the biggest loser is the children.
I’m not even sure if this all makes sense but I feel somewhat better. Not as ‘pent up as I normally do. And something is better then nothing.
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